(you cannot tell anyone about the title)

dear someone, 
whose name rhymes with honesty.

here, i engraved your smile like how i love to remind myself,

about the first day i saw you.

to love you, my fingers are pretty warm without you even touching them.

do you think it's fair?

they call it fate; then i guess it's fair?

beside you, while looking on my pinky finger, 

i really thought i could find the strings they have been talking about but,

someone has been whispering me day and night;

"i love you. don't find shelter without a roof."

but maybe,

i was born stupid enough to talk about feelings and love.

the heaviness of feelings inside since i met you on rainbow motions, 

soft sky blue, snow white but rosy everywhere.

or maybe,

i love you longer than that.

 

it wasn't a coincidence, catching yourself sleep while standing,

made me realize that seeing you happy every day is equal to living my life to the fullest.

now, i am sleepy while thinking what kind of face you make right now.

i want to sleep, and if you're going to take a walk then fall in love with me for a while,

do come. i can make you happy.

i guess,

i will do just right.

(you cannot tell anyone about the title), 131220

Not a Dream

Every time I see the stars, I always make a promise to myself,
to tell you about them,
something I adore,

Like how I adore you.

It is not easy to love you like this.
But, it is better this way,
you are not going to hurt me.

Because I let you live like how you want,
I let you grow,
I will always let you do the things that make you the happiest.

When I see the stars, I ask myself with the same questions,
over and over again.

Do you see it too? You need to see it.
Take your time to see the stars.
Please, it's pretty.
Just like you.

Just like you.

But these days, every single night,
rain always comes heavy.
I can't see the stars.
I feel lost too.

Hey,
I love you.
I love you and I will always love you.

If only I could tell you.






(At least, when he sees the stars, 
I know he is a person just like me.

Not a dream.)

a letter to _________

To the one, I love the most,

Thank you for showing up today with your bright orange-colored sky. You don't know this but you are helping me a lot. You can't imagine how much I love you. I am hoping so many things for you. Mostly for your existence, your precious existence. 

If only I can make you the happiest,

but with this distance, I only can pray for your happiness.

My darling, happiness looks really good on you.

I too. 

I love you. 

Cliches

if only i could stay with you,

i would.

Don't you think it's weird for someone to be in love and not in love at the same time? If you say so, do tell me about the word and explain it to me? I am in the middle of nowhere, but I know I'm getting somewhere.

if only i could make you happy,

i promise you,

i would.

I always put my gaze on the empty air or corner, blurry vision. If I want to know about the answer, should I search for it by myself? Can I just stay here?

I don't want to get hurt anymore.

if only i could see you smile,

if only i could wipe away your tears,

if only i could see you laugh,

if only i could be those reasons.

For me, here and there, I am okay the way I am right now. To feel in love and not in love, to be alone everywhere and feel okay about it. 

Sometimes, I am scared. 

I love being in the darkness way too much. To be alone is fine. Is good. Is enough.

such a cliche, right?

but hey,

a simple thing is hard to get.

Sometimes I'm asking myself,

"Should I give my heart to many people? It's wrong, isn't it? I can't love someone like that."

I just want to make you the happiest,

and that is enough.

In the end, I just want to be myself. To love someone the way I treasure my heart. And hoping, my someone would do the same. 

Someday the day will come.

But when is someday? 

I don't know.

I love you and not love you, my love.